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"Hi Mom" Text Scams

6 minute read

How scammers pretend to be your children or grandchildren to steal your money—and how to protect yourself.

One of the cruelest scams exploits a parent’s or grandparent’s love: a text message that appears to be from your child or grandchild, claiming they need help urgently. This scam has stolen millions of dollars from caring parents who only wanted to help their kids.

This guide will help you recognize this scam, protect yourself, and know exactly how to verify if a message is really from your family.

How This Scam Works

The scammer’s goal is to trick you into sending money quickly, before you have time to verify the message is fake.

Step 1: You receive a text from an unknown number

Step 2: The sender claims to be your child, grandchild, niece, nephew, or other family member

Step 3: They explain why they have a new phone number

Step 4: They build rapport and then create an urgent money problem

Step 5: They ask for money via a hard-to-trace method

Step 6: Once you send money, they ask for more—or they disappear

What These Messages Look Like

The Opening Message

“Hi mom, I dropped my phone in the toilet and this is my new number. Can you save it?”

“Hey grandma, this is Jessica. I’m using my friend’s phone because mine is broken. Can you text me back?”

“Mom? It’s me. Had to get a new number. Please add this one.”

“Hi dad, I cracked my screen and can’t make calls. Text me at this number for now.”

These messages are intentionally vague. The scammer doesn’t know your child’s name, so they let you fill in the blanks by responding.

The Emotional Hook

Once you respond, they’ll build rapport:

“I miss you! How’s dad doing?”

“Sorry I haven’t called lately, work has been crazy.”

“I was just thinking about you. Remember that trip we took last summer?”

They’re buying time, gaining your trust, and gathering information from your responses.

The Money Request

After some back-and-forth, the request comes:

“Can you do me a favor? I’m in a bind and need to pay my rent but my banking app won’t work on this new phone. Can you send me $500 through Zelle? I’ll pay you back tomorrow.”

“I’m stranded—my car broke down and my cards aren’t working. Can you send $300 through Apple Pay? I’m really stressed.”

“I need to pay a bill today or they’ll cut off my power. Can you buy me some gift cards and send me the numbers? I know it’s weird but it’s the only way they’ll accept payment quickly.”

If You Question Them

When you express doubt, they use emotion:

“Mom, I can’t believe you don’t trust me. This is really stressful and I just need help.”

“Please, I don’t have time to explain everything. Can you just help me this once?”

“Why are you being so suspicious? I’m your daughter.”

This emotional manipulation is designed to make you feel guilty for being cautious.

Red Flags to Watch For

🚩 Text from an unknown number claiming to be family

🚩 They can’t call or video chat — “Phone is broken,” “Camera doesn’t work,” “Bad reception”

🚩 Urgency — They need money right away

🚩 Unusual payment methods — Gift cards, wire transfer, Zelle, Venmo, cryptocurrency

🚩 Gets emotional or defensive when you ask questions

🚩 Excuse for why normal verification won’t work — “My old number is disconnected,” “I can’t FaceTime”

🚩 Small details that seem off — Wrong nickname, different texting style, facts that don’t add up

🚩 They’re vague about specifics — Won’t say where they are or give details you could verify

How to Verify: Always Call Before Sending Money

Before sending any money to someone claiming to be family, verify it’s really them. Here’s how:

Option 1: Call Their Real Phone Number

Even if they say the phone is broken, call it anyway.

  • Many “broken” phones still ring
  • If someone else answers, you have your answer
  • If it goes to voicemail, leave a message and wait for them to call back

Option 2: Ask a Question Only They Would Know

Ask something specific that a stranger couldn’t guess:

  • “What did we have at Thanksgiving last year?”
  • “What’s your sister’s middle name?”
  • “What’s the name of your childhood best friend?”
  • “Where did we stay on our last family vacation?”

Important: Pick questions where the answer isn’t on social media.

Option 3: Contact Them Another Way

  • Text or call their regular number — Even if they say it’s broken
  • Message them on social media — Facebook, Instagram, etc.
  • Email them at their regular email address
  • Call another family member who might be with them

Option 4: Ask Them to Call You

Tell them: “I’d love to help, but I need to hear your voice first. Can you find a way to call me?”

If it’s really your family member, they’ll find a way to call. A scammer will make excuses.

Option 5: Use a Family Code Word

Consider establishing a code word or phrase that only your family knows. If they can’t provide it, you know it’s not really them.

What Scammers Know About You

You might wonder: how do they know I have a daughter named Jessica?

Sometimes they don’t—they just say “Hi Mom” and wait for you to fill in details.

But scammers also research targets online:

  • Social media posts reveal family member names
  • Public profiles show relationships
  • “Congratulations to my son on his graduation!” posts tell them your son exists

This doesn’t mean you should never post about family. Just be aware that scammers may know more than you’d expect.

If You’ve Already Sent Money

If you realize you’ve been scammed, take these steps immediately:

Step 1: Stop All Communication

Block the scammer’s number. Don’t respond to “one last” messages or attempts to get more money.

Step 2: Try to Recover the Money

Contact the payment method immediately—the sooner, the better:

Gift cards:

  • Call the number on the back of the card
  • Explain the situation
  • Ask if the funds can be frozen (unlikely once used, but try)

Zelle, Venmo, PayPal, Cash App:

  • Report the transaction as fraud through the app
  • Contact your bank if Zelle was through your bank
  • These are very difficult to recover, but report immediately

Wire transfer:

  • Call your bank immediately
  • Ask if the transfer can be stopped or reversed
  • Act within hours for any chance of recovery

Step 3: Report the Scam

Step 4: Warn Your Family

Let other family members know this scam is going around. If scammers targeted you, they might target your siblings, parents, or other relatives next.

For complete recovery steps: I Think I Was Scammed →

Remember: This Isn’t Your Fault

If you fell for this scam, you're not foolish—you're loving.

This scam works because it exploits the best parts of us: our love for our families and our instinct to help. Scammers are professionals who do this full-time. They know exactly how to create urgency and bypass our defenses.

Millions of smart, careful people have been victimized by these scams. It's the scammer's fault, not yours.

How to Protect Your Family

Share this information with the people you love:

  • Tell your parents and grandparents about this scam
  • Establish a family code word for emergencies
  • Make a family rule: Always call the real number before sending money
  • Remind everyone: Real family members won’t mind you verifying

Quick Summary

✓ Texts from unknown numbers claiming to be family are often scams

✓ Always verify before sending money — Call their real number or ask questions only they’d know

✓ Real family members won’t mind you being careful

✓ Be suspicious of anyone who can’t call or video chat

✓ Gift cards and wire transfers are red flags — Real family would use normal payment methods

✓ Scammers use emotion to pressure you — Take time to verify, no matter how urgent it seems